Reasons to bring a cat into your life 1: To keep your home rodent-free

Theory: Cat will cleanly and without fuss remove pesky rodents who have taken up residence in your cereal cupboard.

Reality: Cat locates mouse frolicking in local garden/field and transports it to your house. Cat releases said rodent for play purposes. One of two scenarios may then occur:

  • Scenario 1: You enter room to find live mouse dashing hither and thither. You begin battle of wits/ninja skills with manic cat to see who can catch mouse first. If you are victorious, mouse is returned to garden and cat-flap firmly closed until cat calms down. If cat wins, cat bites off mouse’s head and crunches it noisily while you watch, helplessly. Cat discards bloody torso on carpet for you to remove.
  • Scenario 2: Bare-footed, you step on headless mouse corpse in the middle of the night.
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